Long before you have any sexual experiences you are a sexual being. Of course, that is not all. You are also a physical being, a spiritual being, an emotional being, a relational being, a gender-specific being and a sexual being. There are also more facets to you than I've named; social being, loner being, perfectionist being, sports being. You get the idea.
The foundational issues I encounter most in working toward satisfying sexuality with my clients is that they COMPARTMENTALIZE their sexuality away from all other parts of of themselves. What if a person was able to be more complete and excel physically, emotionally, and relationally (along with all the rest)? What if an individual was able to incorporate their sexual self into their identity. They would be growing closer and closer to the original plan God had for them in the Garden of Eden. Complete and whole. The Hebrew word for wholeness is one that is known to us, Shalom. It means that nothing is missing from us, nothing is broken within us. It signifies a peace that comes from having it all, from being whole. Ah, delight! Sexual Peace.
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Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth, for his love is better than wine.
Delightful Intimacy for Her, Sexual Adventure for Him: The Truth About Sexuality
The Four Foundational Areas of Sexual Focus
Satisfaction in both Intimacy and Sexuality (yes, they are two separate things...) is achieved when there is a inter-balance between four specific areas of focus. Area One is the individual, Area Two is the feminine, Area Three is the masculine and Area Four is in the relationship. Because this blog posts from most recent, the beginning articles which set the foundational stage will be found at the end. Use the archives or search box as needed.
Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth, for his love is better than wine.
How Is Your Beloved Better Than Others?
My life exists in answering questions about sex. Dinner parties, Sunday school classes, coffee with friends and yes, even in my sex therapy office the questions abound. Delightful intimacy is not that complicated - it just seems to be a mystery. This blog exists to begin answering some of the most prevalent questions...and feel free to submit some of your own.
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The content of this blog is not intended to represent or replace professional counseling. If you are in need of professional help please contact a local therapist. The American Board of Christian Sex Therapists website contains a list of certified professionals. www.abcst.org
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